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Quotations Galore!; Post your favorite quotes.
Topic Started: Apr 2 2006, 11:44 PM (18,952 Views)
Salamanca
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
Do cowboys just call them hats?
-Fred Freiking

Allergies
When I was little I was allergic to strawberries. Last week I tried a strawberry, and to my surprise, I still hate my mother.
-Stephenie Ellis


God doesn't get mad. He gets even.
-Matt Z

I was sober for 12 years. And then I turned 12.
-Matt Larkson

Women face a glass ceiling when it comes to professional basketball. Roughly the bottom of the backboard.
-Lunk N


I was reading this book the other day and I couldn't decide if the word was pronounced "caramel" or "carmel." It ends up the word is pronounced "karma," and it's pretty fitting because I just murdered my English teacher.
-Ross Snow


I want to get a full body tattoo of my own body, only 2 inches to the left, so I can stand outside 3D movies and really mess with people.
-Wes Johnson


I got really depressed last night when the weatherman said everyone would be waking up to cloudy skies and rain in the morning, because that meant he assumed I'd be waking up in the morning.
-Conor McKeon


I'm writing a movie about a woman who is melted by a military weapon, then her remains solidify into a mutated version of her original self. It's called Miss Congealeality.
-Adam Newman


Being a lifeguard is probably the easiest job ever until you have to do something.
-John Baglio


"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind."
Someone should've told Ghandi if everyone was blind there would be no more racism.
-Andy Beers


I've been feeling pretty depressed lately, so my friend told me to try a puppy. I don't get it though: I've already eaten most of it and I barely feel better at all.
-Jon Robbins


Does the tip of Toad's penis look like a human head?
-Justin Delshad


You can tell a lot about a man by his religious beliefs, political philosophies, and core values.
-Spencer Small


"Blame It On The Alcohol"
At last, a rap song that automatically excuses me for singing it at karaoke.
-Patrick Cassels
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Natsu
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Forum Antagonist
[ *  *  *  * ]
Worst quote ever:

"Pain is weakness leaving your body"

Being in the military, I hear this all the time.

Not it's not you idiots. Pain is Pain. It's your body reacting to being treated like S***. I want to slap someone everytime I hear this and tell them "I'm getting rid of your weakness".

[rant over]
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Elyon
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
Hey, it's true. The more pain you feel, the easier it gets every time. Trust me, I heard it every other day.
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Ryhalt
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How boring..
[ *  *  *  * ]
Most of the following quotes are from Warhammer in one form or another..

"What is victory? Is it to defeat your enemy on the field of battle? Is it to simply repulse his armies and slay his misguided warriors? No, this is only the very begining!

True victory is to crush your foes utterly, to shatter his armoured legions and run down his fleeing troops as they scatter. Pursue them to their lairs and burn them out. Burst into his unholy temples, smash down his icons and topple his foul idols. Burn his heretical works and leave no stone upon stone. Slaughter his followers, their families and their livestock lest any of their taint remain. and when that is done, put the ruins to the torch.

Any that have dealt with them or given them succor must be obliterated, for memory is insidious and though you have crushed their will and their bodies they may yet return. Send warrior scribes to excise the records of their name, expunge their deeds from the annals of history and remove even the memory of your foe's existence. Only then have you truly won.

This is the meaning of victory.
"
-Lord Commander Solar Macharius

"After the orbital strikes, Thunderhawk bombardments, Whirlwinds, Vindicators, fusion and starfire and finally Battle Brothers with flamers had finished cleansing the world of all the enemies of Man, we built a monastery in the center of the largest, most radioactive impact crater. We named the planet "Tranquility", for it was very quiet now."

-Brother Vlad Carthas

"Give me a hundred Space Marines; or failing that, a thousand other troops."

-Rogal Dorn

"Kill a thousand men and they will hate you. Kill a million men and they will queue to face you. But kill a single man and they will see monsters and devils in every shadow. Kill a dozen men and they will scream and wail in the night, and they shall feel not hatred, but fear."

-Konrad Curze, Primarch of the Night Lords

These last two are my favorites..

"You are not free whose liberty is won by the rigor of other, more righteous souls. Your are merely protected. Your freedom is parasitic, you suck the honorable man dry and offer nothing in return. You who have enjoyed freedom, who have done nothing to earn it, your time has come. This time you will stand alone and fight for yourselves. Now you will pay for your freedom in the currency of honest toil and human blood."

-Inquisitor Czevak Address to the Council of Ryanti (4ok2 Codex Imperialis p37)

"You accuse me of being a madman, what right do you have to judge what is sane and what is not?
I have fought with the shadows on the edge of your vision.
I have seen the faces that laugh at you in your nightmares.
I have smelt the foetid breath that issues from the mouth of hell itself.
I have heard the silent voices that make your spine tingle with dread.
I have entered the realms between worlds where there is no time or place.
I have clashed with creatures the sight of which would sear your soul to the core.
I have bested horrors that chill with a gaze and tempt unreasoning terror.
I have faced death eye to eye and blade to blade.
I have gazed into the eyes of insanity and met their all-consuming stare.
I have done all this for you; for your protection and the guarantee of a future for mankind.
And yet you call me a madman, you who have never had your sanity tested so sorely.
What right do you have to call me heretic and blasphemer, who have never heard the whisper of dark gods in your ear?
You are weak. Vulnerable. Human in your weakness. I am strong and yet still you judge me.
And yet you still judge me for my sins, you who art most sinful to the heart?
Only the insane have strength enough to prosper; only those who prosper truly judge what is sane.
"

-Can't remember this one..
Edited by Ryhalt, Aug 20 2009, 09:16 PM.
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Sardaukar
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Hit Girl
[ *  *  *  * ]
Rage is the only freedom left me.
-- Commander Greven il-Vec

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
-- Bob Marley
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Yoshi-honrai
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Wazzup?!
[ *  *  * ]
Yoshi's quote book!!!

"All I wanted was a loan but my teller was somewhat an indian person"-my aunt

"If pain,loneliness,and despear are all just a state of mind......then what does that make virginity!"-Yoshi

"You can't do that, it's like trying to bake a pizza on 950!!!"-Yoshi

"If being a ladies man is a crime,then throw my a** in jail!!"-Yoshi



P.S. I didn't just make these up!!!




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captainamerica
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Ninja Academy Student
[ * ]
if there is a god hes a douchebag because he let a lot of uneccessary s*** happen
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APpanthers3
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Rawr....
[ *  * ]

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and smirk as everyone wonders just how the heck you managed it

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isnt for you

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on

I'm smiling. That really should scare you.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter

If you can't beat the computer at chess, try kickboxing.

When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

He who laughs last thinks slowest

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

I'm not cynical, I just see things the way they are

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good

I'm not as dumb as you look

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more free service we offer.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

I couldn't repair you brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I will not follow. If you want to walk besides me, go far it, but don't expect a big reaction...

For people who like peace and quiet: Get a PHONELESS CORD!

I don't get even, I get odder.

I have a photographic memory, but it takes a day to develop.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly, if it's worth it.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Love me, Hate me, make a voodoo doll of me and stick it full of pins, I will continue to be indifferent to you.

To be alone is to be different; to be different is to be alone.

The beatings will cease once moral improves.

Excuse me while I find a container for my joy.

People who think they know everything annoy those of us who do.

all from pryotra's fanfiction page


i used to have a six pack... then i drank it

last from some t shirt i saw

"Father, how can god be omnipotent and benevolent?" a man asked.
"omnipotent means all powerful and benevolent means well meaning." the priest responded.
"but there is a contradiction too that, man's pain, disease, starvation... terrible things happen in this world, but human tragedy seems proof that god cannot be all powerful and wellmeaning, if he loves us and has the power to change our situation he would prevent our pain wouldn't he?" the man challenged.
"would he?" the priest asked.
"well... if god loves us, and he can protect us, he would have to. it seems he is either omnipotent and uncaring, or benevolent and powerless." the man responded.
"do you have children?" the priest asked.
"yes." the man responded.
"do you love them?" the priest asked.
"of course." the man responded.
"would you do everything in your power to prevent pain in his life?" the priest asked.
"of course." the man responded.
"would you let a child skateboard?" the priest asked.
"yeah, i guess, sure i'd let him or her skateboard but i'd tell him to be careful" the man responded.
"so as a father you would give him some basic,good advice, and then let him go off and make his own mistakes?" the priest asked.
"i wouldn't run behind and mollycoddle him, if that's what you mean." the man said.
"but what if he fell and skinned his knee?"asked the priest.
"he would learn to be more careful." the man responded.
"so although you have the power to interfere and prevent your child's pain, you would choose to show your love by letting him learn his own lessons?" the priest asked.
"of course. pain is part of growing up. its how we learn." the man responded.
"exactly." said the priest.

the lasr one is extremely misquoted from the book Angels & Demons, but the gist of it is the same.
Edited by APpanthers3, Aug 23 2009, 11:03 PM.
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Yoshi-honrai
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Wazzup?!
[ *  *  * ]
Those were good!!!

"That speech was really good, can I have the recipe?"-Yoshi

"Don't say HI! -5 degrees is LOW!" -Yoshi

"Your grave says rip, mine says torn"-Yoshi



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APpanthers3
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Rawr....
[ *  * ]
one more

inappropriate for younguns, so as of y it's in spoiler form

Spoiler: click to toggle


from four brothers
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Sardaukar
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Hit Girl
[ *  *  *  * ]
Andy: Remember when Helen came into the kitchen wanting to know who put their food on the newly-painted window sill, and [Sardaukar]'s like, "How the hell should I know?" One of the best moments of my life.

My buddy is awesome. I totally forgot I said that to the hostess.
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Ryhalt
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How boring..
[ *  *  *  * ]
I apologize. I’m.. Sorry. I'm sorry we had to defend ourselves against an unwarranted
attack. I'm sorry that your crew was stupid enough to fire on a station filled with a
quarter million civilians, including your own people. And I'm sorry I waited as long
as I did before I blew them all straight to hell... As with everything else, it's the
thought that counts.

-Captain Sheridan (Babylon 5, practicing a speech in front of a mirror)
Edited by Ryhalt, Sep 18 2009, 10:29 PM.
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Salamanca
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
NEVER choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem~ An anonymous quote
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TheTinyestOne
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Ninja Academy Student
[ * ]
“Oh don’t mind him,” Sasori said, “he hits on everyone. In fact, that brings me to my piece of news: I have become a puppet.”

“Why?” Kisame asked, apparently not having learned his lesson two minutes ago.

“Because real boys are overrated,” Sasori responded automatically.


From brillant fan fic called Itachis's First day. I seriously reconmened it a link to it from my fanfiction account (which is linked from my Leafninja profile). Seriously funniset thing I have read all year.
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The Master
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Four Knocks
[ * ]
There are 2 primary ways to heat a cockpit.

The first is heat run off from the exhaust.

The second is engine failure, which catalyzes the pilot's Body heat to rise.
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Elyon
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
Dear Chairman,

I am disappointed by your decision to press charges, but I am not surprised. My only hope is that the courts will see the matters differently than you have. You see, I never had the chance to serve in battle, nor did fate provide me the opportunity to sacrifice myself for humanity as it did for so many others in the great war. Someone extremely dear to me was lost very early in my life. My mind has always plagued me with the question, if the choice had been placed in my hands, could I have saved her? The memory of her has haunted me my entire life, and more so in these past few years than I could ever have imagined. But given the events of these past few weeks, I feel confident that had I been given the chance, I would have made those sacrifices myself, had I only the chance.

I know that you've disagreed with my methods, and that others will as well. This is beyond my control. However, I cannot imagine that any court would be able to convict me, no matter how low their opinion of my actions might be. You must understand one basic fact for all this to make sense, my dear Chairman. These AI, they all come from somewhere, they are all based on a person. Now, Alpha was no exception, and while the law has many penalties for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors that we inflict on ourselves.

So you send your men. They won't find themselves a fight. They'll only find an old man. An old man tired, but satisfied he did his duty. An old man weary from a mind more filled with memory than it is with hope.

Sincerely yours, the former Director of Project Freelancer,

Dr. Leonard Church
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Sardaukar
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Hit Girl
[ *  *  *  * ]
"My brother hasn't seen Gladiator. I'm like, 'Dude, are you even American?'"
-- James Armstrong

Funny thing is, they've had a copy at the house for years now.
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Dasbones
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Sup kids
[ *  * ]
Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. ~Robert Brault

One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, "Is it half full or half empty?" So I drank the water. No more problem. ~Alexander Jodorowsky

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. ~Henry David Thoreau

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. ~Andre Gide

The fish trap exists because of the fish. Once you've gotten the fish you can forget the trap. The rabbit snare exists because of the rabbit. Once you've gotten the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words exist because of meaning. Once you've gotten the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can talk with him? ~Chuang Tzu
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Gaara Uzumaki
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This avatar was filmed in front of a live studio audience
[ *  *  * ]
"My god, we've got to get him out of there! His heartrocket is skyrating!" "Uh, don't you mean his heart-rate-" "Dammit, man, I'm a doctor, not an English teacher!" --Dr. Birdenheim and a generic Saiyan warrior, DBZ Abridged episode 12.
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HyperStorm
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BRO-KIZ-O
[ *  * ]
The world will know that free men stood against a tyrant, that few stood against many, and before this battle was over, even a god-king can bleed.- King Leonidas-300

The old ones say we Spartans are descended from Hercules himself. Bold Leonidas gives testament to our bloodline. His roar is long and loud.- Dilios-300

C'mon, Young Blood. Don't kill me, man. I got a mofo girlfriend. I got a wife on the side.- Pinky-Next Friday

Why? Why do humans always look to the sky? Why do you try so hard to fly when you don't have any wings? We'll run on our own legs.-Kiba-Wolf's Rain
Edited by HyperStorm, Mar 8 2010, 08:59 PM.
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