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Naruto:New Graduates; Be a graduate of ninja academy!
Topic Started: Apr 2 2010, 11:19 PM (8,359 Views)
Flame Uchiha
Ninja Academy Student
[ * ]
Hi everyone! this is my first RP, so i hope you enjoy it i think :FP:

You have just graduated from ninja academy, its about time to be picked for your cell teams and jonin leader, but as time goes by, new challenges await you, good luck, it is time for you to pave your new path as a ninja....

~Character sheet~
Name:
Age:
Bio:
Jutsus:
Rank:
Element(Fire, Water, Earth*Or leaf*, and wind):
Signiture jutsu:
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The Legendary Itachi
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Now, let me show you the last card in my hand...Susano'o!
[ * ]
EDIT: forget it, no longer joining =/

It's Signature. Anyway, I decided I'll participate. What the hey..

EDIT again Might make a whole new character, gimme some time.. If you guys start, though, leave me[/b]
Edited by The Legendary Itachi, Apr 6 2010, 03:51 PM.
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Uchiha Haku
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
This seems interesting i would like to join Heres my Character.

Name: Uchiha Haku
Age : 10
Bio : Haku is from the Uchiha Clan in Konoha .Haku's father trained him and his brother from a young age and tramatised Haku and his brother to gain the Sharingan by using intense training and genjutsu and Haku always hated his father for that and he doesnt speak with his father because of what he done to him.
Jutsu's : Academy basics
Katon : Goukakyuu no Jutsu
Katon : Gourguuka no Jutsu
Katon : Housenka no Jutsu

Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu
Magen Kyouten Chiten
Magen Kosegui no Jutsu
Rank : Genin
Element : Fire
Signature Jutsu's : Katon : Goukakyuu no Jutsu
Edited by Uchiha Haku, Apr 3 2010, 02:28 PM.
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Ushi-U-Saru
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Am I kawaii, onii-chan? Uguu~
[ *  *  *  * ]
You know the point of using Genin is that they're weak and underpowered compared to the rest of the ninja world, right? It's rare for a Genin to know one element, much less two, and it's even rarer for them to apply a concept to something even top-tier Jounin haven't done.

If you have any sort of desire to be competent role-player who most of us won't avoid like the plague, your first step is to stop creating ninja Jesus. Actually, for you, Uchiha Haku, it's learning good grammar and spelling.
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Masterjc
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Aizen Brand
[ *  *  *  * ]
Ushi-U-Saru
Apr 3 2010, 07:23 AM
your first step is to stop creating ninja Jesus.
Posted Image

You called?
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Sardaukar
Ex-Moderator
[ *  *  *  * ]
This RP lacks any sort of direction or purpose.
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Uchiha Haku
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
Ushi-U-Saru
Apr 3 2010, 07:23 AM
Actually, for you, Uchiha Haku, it's learning good grammar and spelling.
I do apologise even though English is my first language i mostly speak, read and write in Afrikaans so you have to excuss me for that .

And i will change my Shinobi in a suitable Genin.
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Hyena
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Ninja Academy Student
[ * ]
Name: Toushi Uchiha

Name Meaning: Toushi = "Investment" Uchiha = "Fan"


Physical Information
Age: 14
Sex: Female
Birthday: March 29
Bloodtype: AB
Height: 150.1 cm
Weight: 41.2 kg
Appearance: Toushi is a lean, slender girl. She has jet black hair that goes down mid shoulder length and deep onyx eyes. she has small facial lines running from the inner corners of her eyes to mid nose the lines are faint and barely noticable. Her skin has a nice complexion. First problem - this is an Uchiha that has Itachi's face. Common Uchiha traits are the eyes and hair, but Itachi'sfacial markings are unique. Already, we have unoriginality from wanting to be like Itachi too much

Clothing: Her clothing consists of a high collared navy blue Uchiha shirt and a pair of black skorts that have two white lines running down either side. She also has a black long sleeved shirt with the Uchiha symbol on the sleeve.Almost the same clothing as Sasuke's initial outfit. Mixing together Sasuke and Itachi then changing gender isn't original.

Ninja Information

Hidden Village: Konoha; Suna
Rank: Chuunin


Advancement Data
Academy Grad Age: 8
Chuunin Exam Age: 13

Weapons and Items: Her weapons are Kunai, shurikens. exploding tags, medicinal herbs and smoke bombs for defense.

Ninjutsu & Genjutsu: (See below for a jutsu template)

Goukakyuu no Jutsu - Great fireball technique
Rank: C
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Attack

When Toushi does this technique she will do the hand signs so quickly that it is almost unpredictable what jutsu she will use to the naked eye. Then she'll bring her hand upto her mouth and blow out a huge fireball. This jutsu is her favorite technique to use.


Chidori - Thousand birds
Rank: A
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Attack

Not a favorite to use but Toushi will use this jutsu when needed. She will use it in battle when she's in a tight position. She can do it once a day because she has less practice with this particular jutsu.The Chidori is NOT a traditional jutsu for the Uchiha clan - if anything, this is Kakashi's and Sasuke's, nobody else should know it.


Fuusajin - Dust Wind
Rank: Unknown
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m), Mid (5m ~ 10m)
Type: Attack/Defense

A jutsu Toushi learned when she was living in the sand village. She will start off with a large fan and circle it creating large gusts of wind loosening up dirt from underfoot of the opponent. Once they are down she goes in for her actual attack.So now it's a mix of Temari, Sasuke and Itachi. What little originality there was has now been lost due to borrowing so heavily from existing characters.

Housenka no Jutsu - The mythical pheonix flower Touch me not
Rank: C
Range: Close (0m ~ 5m)
Type: Attack

When doing this technique Toushi will mainly be perched on a branch awaiting the right time to ambush someone. She will already have the first hand sign intact when they move closer she will complete the signs and throw the flaming shuriken and kunai at the opponent.And it's just coincidental that Sasuke used the very same trick?


Henge no Jutsu - Transformation technique
Rank: E
Range: Any
Type: Supplementary

She usually does this technique to spy on someone and get information. Otherwise she usually justs get the information by force. When searching for Itachi she transforms into the Akatsuki HQ as Kisame.


Kawarimi no Jutsu - Art of substitution
Rank:E
Range: Any
Type: Supplementary

When in serious Danger Toushi will transform herself into a nearby object to get away. That would only be in a life or death situation.Except this isn't even how Kawarimi works

Taijutsu skill level: Unskilled
Taijutsu style: Toushi's style of Taijutsu is mainly Shishi Rendan or Lion combo. She used this anfter she used her own Sharingan to copy the technique from Sasuke when he used it in the chuunin exams. She barely uses this jutsuCopy, copy, copy... this is why Uchiha characters are looked down on, the Sharingan requires responsibility as a plot device.



Personality: Toushi is exactly like Sasuke. Cold hearted, antisocial, but can be nice when not annoyed or when called upon. Almost has no emotion when older but when she was younger everyone loved her and she was the most nicest person in the clan. She thinks everyone is annoying and goes her own way.Where Sasuke was changed into what he was by personal tragedy, Toushi grew up in Sunagakure and just became antisocial coincidentally?

History: Toushi Uchiha was born into the Uchiha clan. She is a full sister to Sasuke and Itachi Uchiha. Although she was independent she always looked upto her older brother Sasuke for comfort. A few months before the Uchiha massacre Sasuke had told her to run far away and not to come back. She did and lived in the sand village. She lived with a friend that knew about her clan and taught her how to use her Sharingan and taught her the fireball technique and the touch me not. She came back into Konoha years later and finds Sasuke without remembering anything about her past. One of her teammates gives her and Sasuke pieces of their past. Toushi is destined to find Itachi and kill him along side her brother. When she was born the fourth hokage put a seal on her. An unknown seal and an unknown demon's chakra runs through her system. She uses that chakra by 13.[Sasuke, Itachi, Temari, now she's a Jinchuuriki like Naruto and/or Gaara too? Forget it[/i]

Notes: Currently trying to find Itachi Uchiha
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Ushi-U-Saru
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Am I kawaii, onii-chan? Uguu~
[ *  *  *  * ]
Quote:
 
And i will change my Shinobi in a suitable Genin.

Yeah, keep working on that.
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Uchiha Haku
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
Does that mean he is or he isnt suitable
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Ushi-U-Saru
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Am I kawaii, onii-chan? Uguu~
[ *  *  *  * ]
Depends on what you mean. Suitable for this RP? Probably, I don't know if this guy has high standards and he's probably just looking to get something started, can't blame him for that. Suitable for any sort of RP with people that do have standards? Not even close.
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Uchiha Haku
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
Well he didnt state the standards of this RP thats the best i could do without and bar to set my character thats why i only gave him a few basic clan techniques and 1 or 2 techniques that a normal genin wouldnt have.
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Ushi-U-Saru
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Am I kawaii, onii-chan? Uguu~
[ *  *  *  * ]
Forget the techniques, that's a gigantic problem itself, but it's not the most pressing problem. The most pressing problem is that your character isn't actually your character, it's just a run of the mill Uchiha. Nothing, not even the name, is original.

You shouldn't even be using an Uchiha, every single one is dead save for Sasuke, Itachi and Madara. Your character simply can't exist. Looking at the multiple iterations of Haku that you've submitted to the other RPs, he's just awful all around. I mean seriously, he has an Eternal Mangekyou. No original jutsu (which is probably good, since you'd more than likely just create super-overpowered double S-rank gamebreakers anyhow), chakra swords, Bijuu-level chakra, wolf summons, he can regenerate, he's high Jounin level despite only being alive for a decade--all of this is just awful. You don't even add description to anything either; we have no idea what this kid looks like, what he acts like, and we know very little about his history, and what we do know is bland and overdone.

Then we get down to your actual role-playing, which again is lackluster. You don't use proper English, and your posts consist of a few sentences max. How can you proficiently create a story without proper description?

Here's an example of a proper bio. Notice the description? Notice the actual character there? Take special note of his sample RP. It all comes down to the actual role-playing. If you can't do that properly, you've got no place in this section--wait no, you've got no place in this section aside from those boring tournaments that people keep putting up.

You can't fix this character. If you really want to get up to snuff, you'll have to ditch him and start from scratch.
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Uchiha Haku
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
So what you are sugguesting is a total revamp of a character and making him with no special abilities where everyones elses characters has some sort of special ability and the reason i created a rp topic was to get better at it.
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Ushi-U-Saru
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Am I kawaii, onii-chan? Uguu~
[ *  *  *  * ]
You character can have a special ability. As it is now, your character doesn't have any original abilities, you just copy and pasted what you've seen Itachi and Sasuke do.

Special and original =/= overpowered autowins. Learn the difference.
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Uchiha Haku
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
So that means i can still use the Uchiha name and their fire techniques but have to make it original and plus this i a rp so fiction is apart of it and who is to say my character a Uchiha cant exist.
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Ushi-U-Saru
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Am I kawaii, onii-chan? Uguu~
[ *  *  *  * ]
Uchiha Haku
Apr 5 2010, 04:41 PM
So that means i can still use the Uchiha name and their fire techniques
No, you can't. Their fire techniques maybe, but that's if you want to stay where you're at as an unoriginal, sub-par role-player.

The Sharingan and actual Uchiha blood are off limits.

Quote:
 
who is to say my character a Uchiha cant exist.

Kishimoto when he killed them all off save for Itachi, Sasuke, and Madara. Don't forget which continuity you're in.
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Uchiha Haku
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
I see what you mean for the future rp's i will keep my characters original but the current 1 im in cant be change im to far in the rp but you can atleast give me credit for my original Mangekyo Sharingan Techniques.
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Ushi-U-Saru
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Am I kawaii, onii-chan? Uguu~
[ *  *  *  * ]
lolno. Any Mangekyou technique is a bad technique.
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Uchiha Haku
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
Why do you say so is it because Itachi's techniques are based on Japanese Legends.
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Ushi-U-Saru
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Am I kawaii, onii-chan? Uguu~
[ *  *  *  * ]
No, I say it because the Sharingan is an overpowered, s***** jutsu, and the Mangekyou is even worse. The Eternal Mangekyou finds a way to be worse by removing the one pitiful weakness the Mangekyou has.
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Uchiha Haku
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Jounin
[ *  *  *  * ]
You i right the Sharingan and maybe even the Rinnegan are both overpowering doujutsu's because of their benefits.
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Sardaukar
Ex-Moderator
[ *  *  *  * ]
Uchiha Haku
Apr 5 2010, 05:59 PM
i will keep my characters original but the current 1 im in cant be change im to far in the rp
Flame hasn't come here since starting this topic, so s/he hasn't said your character is accepted. You should do everyone, including yourself, a major favor by withdrawing your previous submission and starting totally over again.

Never mind, Ushi's right.---V
Edited by Sardaukar, Apr 5 2010, 08:28 PM.
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Ushi-U-Saru
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Am I kawaii, onii-chan? Uguu~
[ *  *  *  * ]
I think he's referring to Crisis.
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Uchiha Haku
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Jounin
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I was refering to crisis im sorry i had to make that clear i will with draw him here and think of a totally new guy.
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